Saturday 9 April 2016

One of those Days

So woke I up this morning and the sun was shining, it was a beautiful spring day.  On Saturday my daughter and I usually take a walk to the library and get some new books and then let our day unfold from there.
I bought my daughter a second hand bicycle the other day and thought it was about time I do this because she is now 5 and I learnt to ride a bicycle without training wheels when I was six years old.  I remember the day clearly when my Dad took my wheels off my bike and I had to learn to balance. 
Anyway, after going to the library my daughter asks if she can go and ride her bicycle to which I respond maybe.  I saw our neighbour on the way back and asked her if she knew of anywhere around that I could take her to ride her bicycle.  She gave me a list of a few places and so I decided that we would go out and I would let my daughter ride her bike.
Immediately after I see where I was going to be going the thought pops into my head, I so wish my hubby was with us and could come with.  I then feel an immense sadness come over me and think of how much nicer it would be to go out as a family.  It is one of those feelings that just eats a person's heart up.
With my brave face on I take my daughter's bicycle out of the house and walk to the car with it.  Just as I go to open up the boot of my car I see a white feather.  My mind immediately points out to me that my hubby is here with us and will be with us but not physically and rather just spiritually.  It eased the pain a little but I was still emotional.
While walking around at our destination there were a ton of couples and families walking around and the sadness just took over again but I tried to stay as upbeat as possible for my daughters sake.  She had fun and thoroughly enjoyed herself.  Another day done and another day missing my dearest husband.

Monday 4 April 2016

Spring Clean

So the kids have been off of school now for just over a week here in England and last week we kept ourselves pretty occupied, we managed to go to a farm, did some soft play and odd things here and there.  Yesterday we even attended a birthday party where my daughter got to burn off a ton of energy.

This morning I woke up and for some unknown reason I got a bee in my bonnet. I get these urges sometimes where I open a drawer or cupboard and go urggggg and start to randomly sort through and get rid of everything. Today was one of those days and my daughters room got the brunt of my get rid of splurge.  Of course now I'm on one of my random cleans and now I want to tackle my drawers and cupboard in my bedroom and also the kitchen.  It does funnily enough make me feel much lighter and better once I've managed to chuck a whole load of rubbish out the door.

I did also manage to sort through my dreaded paperwork,  paperwork that was from when my husband was still alive and it felt good to finally say goodbye to most of it.  I guess it's another chapter that is being closed, no point holding onto random bills etc.

So today I feel lighter, I kind of hope I wake up in the same frame of mind tomorrow and I can tackle more, let us see. :-)